Helping you get through tough times

Dealing with other people after someone dies

After someone dies, it can be hard for everyone to adjust. If you’ve lost someone in the family, like a grandparent or parent who seemed to keep you all together, it can be difficult to be around each other.

office feet by Nikki You can get annoyed or lose your temper but, time with your family can also be really important. You can grieve together. You’re all missing the same person, after all.

If possible, try to understand your family’s reactions.

Doing things together or hanging out talking about how you’re doing can help you to feel close to each other and understand what the others are going though.

Talking about it

Don’t be afraid to talk about the person who died. You might not want to mention them for fear of upsetting others, but they could want to talk about them.

The silence created by not talking about the person you’ve lost can make people feel like others didn’t think that person was important, like they never existed.

It can become a weight on everyone’s shoulders.

For an introduction to dealing with loss, see when someone dies. Check managing special occasions for more on coping with your feelings on important days.

Friends and relatives

Friends and relatives can have deep feelings of grief as well. Like you, they might want a tangible reminder of their friend. Try and be sensitive about their requests.

Including them in your grieving might help you get through your own tough times. They can be a great source of support and you could talk to them about some of the major decisions you need to make.

Coping with other people’s reactions

Chances are your friends will feel as if they don’t know what to do or say and this can be difficult for both of you. Let them know how you’re feeling and it may take time for you to get back into your normal routine.

If there are things they could do to help you out, let them know. They probably really want to be there for you.

People might ask questions you don’t want to answer or maybe aren’t ready to answer. It’s OK  to say you’re not ready to talk, but that you’ll let them know when you are.

More information

Counsellors within your local area will be able to give you information or support if you need it.  Your local Community Health Centre should have information about the counselling services in your area.

Look in your local phone book for details of your local community health centre or check the Counselling Directory. See suggestions for managing your grief for a list of resources that can help you manage your feelings.

This article was last reviewed on 01 December 2017

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