When life throws you curve balls
When something bad happens that you couldn’t possibly have planned for, it can really knock you off kilter. Vicky, takes a look at ways to help you through these times.
One of the most beautiful aspects of life is that it’s full of the unexpected. You never know when you’ll find €10 in the street or meet somebody who will become your best friend. But everything has a flip side and the unexpectedness with which life can change is something that can make you feel more deflated than elated.
Having a fight with your family, going through a relationship break-up, not getting the job you were sure you had in the bag…These are all curve balls that life throws at us when we’re least expecting them. When something hits you unprepared, it can be difficult to deal with.
Out of the blue
The truth is, we can’t prepare ourselves for everything. While the Boy Scouts mantra is “Be prepared”, there are some things you just can’t prepare for. They hit you out of the blue and take the wind out of your sails. Suddenly, you’re in a situation you didn’t see coming and feel like you don’t even know how to begin coping with it.
OK not to be OK
Feelings of despair are natural when difficult situations unexpectedly occur. It’s OK to not be OK with what’s happened. But the hopelessness you feel in the aftermath of some form of heartbreak will not last forever. The feelings are temporary as is the situation you’re in.
Affecting people of all types
For Bressie, musician and well-loved judge on “The Voice”, his battle with panic attacks hit him out of the blue. Speaking about them recently, he said “Everything was going so well and it just came along, it doesn’t pick it’s victims and for me it was all consuming”.
The thing is, tough times affect people in all walks of life and everyone finds themselves in situations they did not expect and are unsure of how to deal with.
Writing stuff down
Bottling up your thoughts and emotions is only going to zap the energy you need. Talking might seem like an obvious step, but it’s a powerful one. If you don’t feel like you’ve the capacity to talk aloud about what you’re going through, write it down on paper.
I’ve always found this to be very therapeutic; you can get all the feelings and thoughts swimming around in your head out. You can say whatever you want and then, get rid of it – rip the paper into a million pieces or (safely) burn it. There’s a catharsis by doing this that can really help.
Time is a healer
You also need to keep on living; even when at times the last thing you feel like doing is going out to see your friends or getting yourself through a school day or work day. Take each day at a time and in that day, take each hour at a time.
Mostly, time is the best healer. Especially for a situation or tough time you desperately wish was different, but unfortunately, they are what they are and you can’t change them. But you’re in control of your life and how you choose to live that life in the aftermath. There’s no overnight solution to a sudden, life-changing shock.
Allow yourself the time
There’s no clock ticking to tell you “Ding dong, you should be better by now!” It’s a process and a necessary one. Allow yourself to grieve for the situation the way you need to and then one day, you’ll find the grieving has stopped.
So when life throws you a curve ball, don’t let it knock you down. Whether you feel like that right now or not, it’s important to remember that you are a survivor and you will get through this. There’s no instant fix to your situation, but the smaller steps are the ones that will help you emerge from how you’re feeling right now.