Worried about your relationship?
Ups and downs
All relationships have their ups and downs and it’s normal to have disagreements and have to work through things. But if you’re in a healthy relationship with someone you love, both individuals support each other, through good times and bad. When you respect and trust someone and those feelings are returned, it can help you face the world with confidence.
Assessing your relationship
Unfortunately not all relationships work this way. If it feels wrong, it probably is. If your girlfriend or boyfriend is making you feel anxious or worried then you may be in an unhealthy relationship. Lots can happen in a relationship to make it unhealthy but there are a few tell-tale clues that can suggest your relationship has the potential to become abusive.
It’s nice for your partner to take an interest in your life, but if they’re constantly checking to see where you are, what you’re doing and who you’re with, it can be a concerning sign. If it feels like your partner is controlling your life then it may be time to think about ending the relationship.
Does your partner constantly accuse you of flirting, being unfaithful with no good reason? Be very careful if your partner gets jealous or makes you feel guilty for spending time with your friends or family. It can be all too easy to give in to this, eventually leaving you feeling very isolated.
Saying things to make you feel bad is never OK, and is a type of abuse. Being constantly put-down can be very damaging.
Saying things like you’re worthless, or blaming you or your loved ones for anything that goes wrong are forms of verbal abuse.
Nobody should ever be yelled at or feel unsafe, when you think about it it’s the exact opposite of how your partner should make you feel.
If they threaten to use violence against you, your family or friends or even a pet then you need to keep yourself safe. Remove your self from the situation and tell somebody about it. If you ever feel in immediate danger then call emergency services straight away.
If they threaten to hurt themselves if you leave them or don’t, do what they say, then you need to tell someone who can keep an eye on them. Your partner’s behaviour is not your responsibility and you have to do what makes you happy and keeps you safe.
Take the quiz
Remember being in a relationship or not is up to you. Only you can decide what feels right. If you are having doubts try this quiz for some guidance. The wording of this quiz is aimed at girls in heterosexual relationships but the rules of love are the same for everyone, no matter what sex you are or who you are dating.