In Pixar’s feature film, Inside Out, 12-year-old Riley’s parents were so proud of her for putting on a brave face during their move.
It took for Riley to come to a breaking point for her parent’s to understand and allow her to release that pent up grief. In the end, they realised it was better for their daughter’s mental health to do.
In the end, it even made their relationship with her stronger.
Sometimes, to keep their parent’s happy, children will hold back their own feelings of sadness, just as Riley did. She didn’t want cause any stress upon her parents, ultimately taking it all upon her shoulders.
Although it was a generous act by her, the built up emotion caused other aspects of her personality to fade.
When her parent’s noticed the change, instead of talking about it, they opted to discuss things that could potentially increase her mood.
Parents often time make the mistake of thinking that when they’re child is sad or upset, their job is the cheer them up. It can be very distressing witnessing your son or daughter feeling anything other than happy.
Most of the time, the solution can be the exact opposite. Instead of trying to make them crack a smile or give a laugh, try sitting down and talking to them about what they’re feeling.
Expressing those feelings and getting them out lets your son or daughter know that you’re there for them in any situation and they can come to you no matter what.
These are skills for life and learning young and growing up in an environment that encourages communication helps young people flourish.
Summer is here…fun, sun, trips and being out and about with family and friends. We all think of things to do during this time, we plan and think of all the fun you and your family can have.
If your offspring are in secondary school they’re able to be on their own, though they still may need your help to make their summer an active and productive one.
Even if they’re home with you from college and having been living away from home, you might find they too are a bit lost without structured routine.
The first week or two are always the most active, but as the days move on you could find you son or daughter is either getting bored or finding it harder to get out of bed early and do things.
There can be many reasons behind this lack of motivation. The absence of a structured routine can make spare time used ineffectively.
But, in lots of cases for your son or daughter, being off for summer whether from school or college really means being away from their friends.
Friends can be away with their own families on holidays or living in an area that’s hard for them to meet up for lack of public transport. Without their own transport, you might be unable to bring them around.
One thing we can do is talk to them what their plans are or what they want to do. They aren’t little kids anymore, but it will still help organise time and drop-offs with other parents.
They’re well passed the stage of “play dates” but knowing where your son or daughter is in a place you know they’re safe while you’re not able to be there will help you not stress and gives them time with friends.
This was probably normal when they were younger, so don’t be afraid to suggest this to them and other parents you have gotten to know over the years.
Don’t feel defeated when you see you children lazing away one day, they may just need to relax for a bit. Invite their friends every now and then too. Just make sure relaxation doesn’t turn into isolation over the summer.
Try your best to helping them to have a good summer. Look up free festivals and local events, you could be surprised at what you find, for them and their friends or all the family.