Helping you get through tough times

Mixed feelings about having sex or a relationship

It’s not uncommon for people to have mixed feelings about having sex and/or a relationship with someone else, or to wonder if it’ll ever happen for them.

relationships sign

One of the common myths about gay men and lesbians is that they don’t have long term relationships. This is not true.

Lesbian, gay, and bisexual people do have positive sexual relationships and experiences that include genuine feelings of love, affection and pride in their sexual identity.

Valuing yourself, taking your time and using your best judgement may help to make your sexual experiences fun, exciting and satisfying.

As with any person of any sexuality, if you choose to have sex with someone, you should think about protecting yourself against Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) such as HIV/AIDS. Inform yourself about your sexual health.

I get scared and down sometimes

It may not be easy to realise you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. It’s not uncommon to hear jokes, wrong ideas and upsetting stereotypes about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Even when they are not directed at you, they may be hurtful.

You may worry you are the only young person experiencing these feelings, but you’re not. Research shows that 5-10% of the population identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

It may be stressful worrying whether others will find out about your identity. Other people, and sometimes ourselves, may fear what we don’t fully understand.

The majority of people who have accepted their sexuality  are happy and would not want it any other way. Acknowledging that part of yourself is a brave thing to do.

Being brave and courageous does not mean you don’t get scared. It doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help.

Try not to judge

Even when you are comfortable with your same sex attractions and feelings, life may continue to present challenges. If possible try not to judge yourself for feeling sad or scared.

Many young people found meeting or talking to other young people with the same experiences as theirs to be really useful.

Having the support of people who understand may help you feel better about yourself. There are a number of services that may be able to help you if you are feeling isolated and alone.

Services such as BeLonG To have youth groups and youth workers to talk to when you are feeling down or just want a chat. They support youth groups across Ireland, so there may be one in your local area to access.

This article was last reviewed on 03 May 2017

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