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Last updated: 25 August 2014
We asked our friends in Bodywhys to reply to your comment, as they have more knowledge in this area than we do. Please see Harriet's reply to your comment below.
Thanks for your comment and I can hear just how difficult you are finding things. It is incredibly difficult to have these feelings for oneself, and also to acknowledge them to oneself and to others. To try and bring yourself some relief, it is important to try and think about when these feelings started, and what was happening for you when they did. Oftentimes, when a person feels that they hate their body, it is a response of sorts to something else in their life that feels maybe beyond one’s control, or difficult to cope with. Then it can often be that a person turns inwards to themselves, and their physical body as a focus for the negative thoughts. I say this because you have written also that there is a disparity to what you experience, there is a kind of divide between what you feel people see and how you feel about yourself.
It can be very stressful and distressing to feel that one is going through life hating oneself under one’s clothes, this feeling of a hidden hating. This can affect a person’s ability to live and work as they wish, and to experience a range of emotions including joy and contentment, which although fleeting for everyone, are an important part of feeling oneself to be living.
I wonder would you consider talking to somebody one to one about these strong feelings you have? I wonder whether trying to tease out what they are, when they feel powerful, when they recede, when they kick in, would help you to find some peace and understanding so that you can try to give yourself the chance to let go of this feeling of hating your body. If this is something you would like to try then there are many different avenues to try. You can speak with your local doctor/GP about how you are feeling and they can recommend a specialist for you to speak with, or you can look up www.counsellingdirectory.ie for details of counsellors and therapists working across Ireland. It is important to try a couple of people, to find someone that you feel understand you, that you could try talking to.
If you feel that this step is a bit too hard right now, then it might be worth looking at the OCD Ireland website. They have lots of useful information and also run support groups for issues such as you have, which you may find helpful to start you thinking about what you can do to help yourself with these feelings you are having. For more information on these support groups, you can phone St.Patrick's Hospital on 01 249 3333 or email them on firstname.lastname@example.org.
You're not on your own with this John, and I hope something in this email is a start for you.
Harriet - Bodywhys
Im 68 and have hated my body for as long as I remember . Im told im attractive but under my clothes I hate myself
Thanks for leaving a comment Bob - we appreciate it and we know that it will encourage others reading it too. You seem really self-aware and it's good that you feel better equipped and empowered to take the next steps in sorting out your issues,
Just read this article as i am really struggling at the mo wasnt sure what was going on in my life but stumbled across this and feel a little bit more aware of whats wrong with me. Cant really talk to anyone friends family girlfriend cause im afraid of what they will think of me especially my girlfriend she might think im weak or stupid cause even though my problem might seem silly to others its really sending me into ground. Definately going to take this further to try sort my issues out. The problem i have never really bother me when i was younger although i always knew it was there but now im a bit older its really effecting me now in social and employment and worried cause i was hoping that the fact im getting older i thought i would care less about the issue but no its actually as bad as ever. Doing some crazy things to try and disguise my issue exactly as the article says im so happy ive seen this cause i really thought i was about to explode great article it summed me up exactly so much that it was like it was about me. You know your stuff and thanks from the botton of my heart at least now i wont feel to weird having the courage speaking to a doc or pys.. head doctor ha. The reason im leaving a comment is so that it might make someone else out there feel a bit better or least know they are not alone. Will try exactly what what is advised and will check back in soon. Thanks again although im not sorted just yet its a definate step in the right direction cause the way i fell of late is shocking and weird is best way of putting it. It kills me to feel like this cause im normally so happy and bubbly but i now know this is just a front and cant fix this myself so i need help. Thanks and gob bless
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