With Silver Linings Playbook seeing Jennifer Lawrence win best actress at the 2013 Oscars and now, another movie, Side Effects, just released that deals with depression, mental health is being actively discussed in our culture.

Control your own culture

Chuck Palahnuik, the author of Fight Club once said, “The first step – especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money – the first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art.”

It’s an interesting observation that seems quite relevant now, as popular culture takes on the topic of depression and mental health.

Viewing the process

I’m glad to see the subject entering mainstream discussion and in a mainly, approachable, positive way. In Silver Linings Playbook, Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence portray the process of recovery with poise, humour and honesty. It’s not all sunshine and roses and it’s also not easy; but it’s real.

Different approach

I’ve yet to see Side Effects and from what I can gather, it takes a different approach to the topic. The film is a psychological thriller which examines the dangers of easy prescription of medication for depression. However, what the two films do have in common is the theme of mental health.

Common experience 

The fact that the topic is becoming so prevalent in our films, books and even music demonstrates how common struggles with one’s mental health actually are. We all experience times when our mental health is put under strain. The parameters of that strain differs from those experiencing a difficult time to those who are suffering from long-term depression or anxiety. But we all have our own brush with the area, so why is the topic still so stigmatised?

That question raises more issues than I could address in an entire book. People still see mental health as a mystery, something dark and scary and dangerous. Will an admission of difficulty make me weak? Make people think I’m crazy? Isolate me?

Importance of good mental health

But as our media is showing us in different ways, many of us have feelings of despair or despondency. There isn’t a mystery to mental health, but there is a lack of awareness about the importance of good mental health and how to take care of yours, which is different to mystery.

Mental health needs to be normalised in how we discuss it. It’s not something which should be talked about in hushed tones or shame.

Taking away the mystery

Turning around and telling a friend that you’ve been having a crap time lately because work is getting on top of you and your boyfriend is annoying you and your family is just plain doing your head in, doesn’t make you crazy or abnormal.

In fact, it’s the most normal thing in the world. If we could just recognise and believe in that truth, we can see that the mystery is nothing but smoke and mirrors.

To help us, each year we our ask visitors to complete a user-profile survey. This survey asks questions about your views of the site and why you’re coming to ReachOut.com. There are also questions about your understanding of mental health and about getting through tough times to find out your wants, needs and preferences around getting support. As well, we ask you to share your age and gender with us.

Right now, we’re collecting for our third annual user-profile survey and we would encourage you to take it and give us your opinions. It’ll only take 10 minutes and it really does help us out.

Information collected from the past two surveys have given us some interesting insights and we’d like to share some of those with you.

Gender and age

In the two surveys we’ve held so far, we found around 60% of survey respondents were aged 12-25-years-old, which is ReachOut.com’s target age audience. The rest were over 25-years-old. Many of these were parents, teachers and health professionals looking for information to help a young person through a tough time.

Results from our first annual survey showed a fairly even gender split, with last year’s survey respondent mostly female. 

Going through tough times

Most survey respondents said their main reason for visiting ReachOut.com was they were going through a tough time and looking for information to get through it. We also found many respondents were experiencing high levels of psychological distress, meaning that they were feeling nervous, tired out, worthless or depressed. 

Knowledge about looking for support 

People who responded to both surveys rated their ability to help a friend through a tough time higher than being able to access help, support or information for themselves.

It’s great to see that there such a high level of confidence in people’s ability to help a friend.

Seeking help

ReachOut.com was identified as the most likely source of future support when/if going through a tough time. Friends and health professionals were other likely sources of support.

Interestingly, a high percentage of respondents would be unlikely to call a helpline to get help through a tough time. Showing the need for a wide range of supports to be available so everyone can find and access support. 

For the past two years, we’ve  published a report based on the findings of our ReachOut.com user-profile survey. You can find those two reports on the Inspire Ireland website. 

Depression

From the outside it seemed Frankie had it all; fame, fortune and a hunky footballer boyfriend to boot. But, depression made Frankie think “I was worthless, that I was ugly, that I didn’t deserve anything…I thought I was selfish, miserable and ungrateful. I’d been given this amazing life, but I wasn’t happy.”

Sometimes it looks like everyone’s life is so much better than our own. We  all know what it feels like on Facebook when it seems everyone’s out having the best time. But we know that this is just a projection, right? People only put the best of themselves out there, right? The fact is, nobody’s life is perfect.

Reality

No matter how perfect anyone’s life may seem, everyone needs a helping hand from time-to-time. People often put on a brave face when they’re feeling down. It can be very difficult to admit you’re not coping and sometimes you don’t, like Frankie, feel like you deserve to be happy.

Realising and asking for that helping hand when you need it can sometimes be the best thing you ever do.

Frankie

We should take inspiration from Frankie as someone who experienced depression and is now very happy, “Opening up and talking about something so personal wasn’t easy, but I wanted to set the record straight and share my story in the hope that it will encourage other people suffering from the condition to get help.”

We’ve no idea where you’d get information on how to be perfect, but take a look a depression and how to support a friend

This week, Dean Windass, recently retired footballer has been humbled by the support he received after speaking out about his depression.

Dean

He made a name for himself scoring the winning goal in the Championship Play-offs that brought his home team into the Premier League in 2008. At the height of his career Dean made half a million pounds a year. He has a beautiful wife of 18 years and two great children.

From the outside it looked like the perfect life, but Dean was depressed.

Depression

He says he has cried everyday since his retirement and turned to drinking as a coping mechanism which resulted in him becoming isolated from his family and friends. This week things came to a head for Dean when his depression led him to attempt to take his own life.

Dealing with change.

The loss of the routine and adrenalin of football, a relationship break down with his wife and the recent loss of his father all became too much for an already depressed Dean.

This economic climate is a time of change for all of us. Unemployment and money worries  putting  pressure on our relationships. Famous footballer or not it can be hard to adapt and there is no doubt that these extra pressures can compound feelings of depression.

It’s not all about the money honey

Dean’s story is proof that anyone can experience depression. There is a common misconception that people need a reason to get depressed. But depression is an illness just like physical illnesses and it can affect anyone at anytime. Although Dean has been through a lot in two years since his retirement, it still seemed he should have the perfect life.

Reaching out

As well as reaching out to his friends, family and fans, Dean has put himself on a waiting list to see a counsellor. Dean says that he needs to “sort himself out” and that’s why he is speaking about what he’s been through.

When you’re feeling down it can be really hard to reach out for help. Depression can trick you into thinking that nobody will care and that there is no way out. But the overwhelming support for Dean shows how many people understand and many people have been through it too.

Talking to someone you trust or someone outside the situation like a GP or counsellor can make all the difference.

It’s only natural to want to support our loved ones but it’s also important to look after ourselves. After all, if we don’t make sure we’re OK then we won’t be able to support others.

Alcohol problems

Recently a young woman shared her story with us of the realisation of her brother’s alcoholism. She explains how dealing with her brother’s problems on top of her own feelings and the stress of exams led to her depression and of how she got help.

Helpful links

If you’re worried about someone’s drug or alcohol use or how to support them or would like more information on depression then check out these articles. There’s loads of great tips for dealing with stress, managing exam stress and information about how to find support.

Dressing up

But why do we love dressing up so much? For some it’s the fun of being a kid again. For others a chance to express their inner creativity and craftiness. But dressing up also allows us to wear a mask (either literally or just figuratively), role play, get into the shoes of a character and play pretend.

Masks

We all wear masks from time to time. Sometimes for fun like Halloween but other times it’s not so fun.  Everyone can relate to pretending to like that awful Christmas gift to not hurt friends feelings.  But what if you had to pretend all of the time? How could you tell if a friend felt they had to wear a mask?

Hiding behind a smile

Smiling depression is a term used for someone who is depressed, but doesn’t look it and often won’t admit it. To everyone else, they give no hint of their problem and can hold down a full-time job and enjoy an active social life. But underneath they could be suffering panic attacks, insomnia, low self-esteem and depression.

More common than you might think

Recently, comedian David Williams from the comedy show little Britain admitted he’s suffered with depression for much of his life. He is one of a long line of comedians who have battled depression including Stephen Fry, Ruby Wax, Lenny Henry, Ben Stiller, Jack Dee and Jim Carey. These comedians chose to mask their depression with a cheerful exterior.

Not healthy

But while hiding behind a smile can seem like the best thing to do in the short run it is actually the worst thing you can do in the long run. This is because by not recognising that you are going through a tough time you never deal with what is going on. This means that your tough time will last even longer and be more severe. By not opening up to others about what you are going through you are depriving your friends and family of the opportunity to help you and you are cutting yourself off from support.

What you can do

Open up; tell someone what you are going through.  Speaking to somebody outside of the situation will help you release tension, see things from a different perspective and come up with new strategies to get through your tough time.  If you are worried about a friend, make sure they know you are there for them and willing to listen if they need to talk.

Check out these articles about opening up and supporting a friend.

Is the mask you wear for Halloween the only mask you have?

Being able to put a name to something like depression or anxiety can not only help you then find the right support or treatment, but can let you know that you’re not ‘going mad’. You’re actually experiencing a problem that lots of other people have been through, and there are many different ways to handle it.

If you don’t believe us, here’s a story from a guy who’s been there, opened up and moved on.

Coverage

So another star has gotten a little too full of himself, thinks he is worth more than any one he works with and has a few rants about it. Making comments that are well out of order on a radio show has mushroomed into a week-long tirade that has received a lot of coverage by established news organisations and gossip/celebrity columnists alike. That’s not to mention all of the office conversation about it.

Behaviour commentary

Is this news? Is this new? Is this of any interest? Well, maybe, but what is interesting and a little alarming is suddenly everyone reporting on his antics feels they have the right to diagnose his behaviour as a mental illness. There have been comments about his “manic” behaviour, or assumptions of Sheen having bi-polar disorder.

No diagnosis

He has acknowledged to having addiction issues in the past and yes his behaviour is erratic and self-destructive but only a health professional can truly diagnose a mental illness but examining and talking to him. It is also quite alarming to witness some of these aggressive rants if you yourself, or someone you know have just been given a similar diagnosis.

Know the facts

When media stories are sensationalised such as this, they go a long way into feeding stigma around mental health, stopping people from asking for the help they need. It also adds to the myths surrounding mental illnesses. Make sure you know the facts about bi-polar disorder.

Treatment

There are many ways to manage and treat a mental illness and someone suffering from one can lead a very full and happy life, particularly receiving the right help. Read supporting someone with a mental illness.

The only thing all this hullabaloo truly proves is there’s no such thing as bad press, as Sheen’s show tops the ratings on US television this week.