Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is a relatively new form of bullying which has started happening a lot on social networking sites, online forums and by email or text.
Examples of cyberbullying behaviour are:
- abusive messages or slagging on Facebook, Twitter etc
- offensive comments on videos or posts
- spreading rumours online
- hacking into your online accounts
- posting offensive images
Cyberbullying can happen to anyone – think about all the Youtube comment pages or gossip sites that are full of people putting other people down. Whoever’s doing it can act anonymously and can say things they’d never say in real life. It’s important to remember it’s just as serious as face-to-face bullying and no one should have to deal with it. It’s really important to learn how to protect yourself online and how to respond if you or a friend is having a tough time with it.
How to avoid it:
- Never give out your passwords – always keep your passwords and PIN numbers to yourself, and make a habit of logging out of your email/Facebook page if you’re using a public computer.
- Pick your friends carefully – remember whatever you post online can be seen by everyone who’s got access to your page or the discussion board. If it’s Facebook, only make friends with people you’re ok sharing information with.
- Use Netiquette – be polite to other people online. Think about what you’re saying and whether it might be hurtful or embarrass them in public, even if it’s funny.
- Don’t send a message to someone else when you’re angry – wait until you’ve calmed down and had time to think. Once you’ve sent it, you can’t take it back.
How to deal with it
- Don’t reply – even though you might really want to, don’t rise to the bait and reply to messages from someone who’s bullying you. They want to know that they’ve got you worried and upset. Chances are if you never reply they’ll get bored and leave you alone.
- Go offline – if you feel like it’s invading every bit of your life, remember you can turn off your computer and your phone anytime. Ditch virtual reality for some actual reality for a while.
- Inform your phone company or Internet Service Provider (ISP)– they can block texts, calls or online messages from specific people.
- Change your contact details – get a new user name, a new email address, a new mobile number and only give them to your closest friends. This doesn’t mean you’re giving in, you’re just getting on with your own life.
- Tell someone – if it’s bothering you, don’t keep it to yourself. Talk to someone about it. If you’re worried your parents will freak out, you could talk to a friend, a teacher you trust or a youth worker. Check face-to-face help for more.
- Inform the Gardaí – if the messages are ever threatening or it’s getting really serious, tell the Gardaí. It’s against the law to threaten people, and the Gardaí can put a stop to it. They’re there to keep you safe, and they generally want to know about stuff like this.
- Keep a record – you don’t have to read the messages, but keep them and keep a record of the time and date. This can act as evidence if you ever need it, and can help the Gardaí or your ISP find out where the messages are coming from.
Fore more information on what to do about bullying, see what to do if you’re being bullied.
Hi DylaNasri,
No one deserves to be bullied at school or anywhere else. There are lots of things that can be done to help put a stop to it.
We would encourage you to talk to an adult you trust about the bullying. This adult could be someone like a parent, aunt or uncle or a teacher at school. It can seem really tough to have to tell someone about this, but it will be worth it.
It’s good for teachers to know if there is bullying going on at school and it’s part of their job to help. It might seem like it won’t do any good, but teachers can help put a stop to bullying.
Dealing with bullying can be really tough and it's always useful to ask for some help with it. Besides talking to someone though, there are a few things you can do that might help.
Bullies are quite cowardly and often target people when they’re on their own. If you have a friend in school, maybe you could ask them to stay with you, especially in places where you think the bully or bullies might be. Having someone with you might stop the bully from saying or doing anything.
Try to ignore the bully – it’s not easy to do but if you can, just walk away from the bully and try not to give them a reaction because that’s usually what they want and if they don’t get one, they might get bored and give up.
Remember – this isn’t your fault. Sometimes bullying can really affect our self-esteem and our confidence, so keep thinking about all your good points and know that things can get better.
Here’s some more information about what to do if you’re being bullied.
Please do talk to someone about the bullying – you don’t have to deal with this on your own. Talking to someone about it can really help.
Has anyone else dealt with bullying in school? Comment and let us know what worked to stop the bullying.
Take care,
Fenella
i'm getting bulied in school please help
Hi Naomi,
It's really nice that you want to help people who are being bullied. Bullying is never nice and we all need to look out for each other to help put a stop to it.
We think it’s really important that we know how to safely support friends and classmates if they are being bullied. We’ve got information about things you can to do help someone if they are being bullied and we would encourage you to check out this factsheet - if someone you know is being bullied
Things that can help are:
- talking to the person and letting them know you care
- including them in your group
- sticking up for them
There’s more information on all of these in the factsheet we link to above so do check it out.
Well done Naomi!
Take care,
Fenella
Hi Jade,
No one should be bullied online or anywhere else – it’s not fair and it’s really not nice. You don’t have to struggle through this on your own though; there are things that can be done to help put a stop to bullying.
Harming yourself isn’t a good solution to any problem including bullying– it might feel like it will help you cope but it really doesn’t help and it can make things worse.
If you feel like you are going to harm yourself, then the most important thing is to keep yourself safe. If there is someone nearby, a family member or friend, we would encourage you to talk to them and let them know how you are feeling. You don’t have to go through this on your own and talking to someone you trust can help.
You should check out the Self-harm page on ReachOut.com for some tips on what to do. Things like doing exercise, listening to music or trying some relaxation techniques can help you to cope with how you are feeling and distract you from thinking about harming yourself.
There are lots of ways to deal with and to help stop the bullying on Facebook:
- Don’t reply to any bullying comments or messages – you don’t even have to read them
- You should tell someone you trust like a family member if you see any kind of bullying comment or message
- Don’t go on Facebook if you get bullied there
- 'Unfriend’ the people who are bullying you and check your privacy settings so that only people you know and trust can comment on your page or send you messages.
- You could delete your Facebook page and set up a new one. On your new profile, only be ‘friends’ with people you know and trust.
- Keep talking to someone you trust about how you feel
- Keep a record of any bullying comments or messages – you don’t have to read them but it can help to keep a record of them with the help of someone you trust.
We hope this helps Jade and that you don’t harm yourself. There are lots of things that can be done to help stop the bullying and you can get through his.
Take care,
Fenella