Bullying at work

Bullying isn’t something  that just happens in school – workplaces can be a hotbed of aggression, intimidation and general meanness.

Business manBullying in the workplace is actually incredibly common, but can be hard to identify and even harder to know how to deal with it.

In certain work environments, it can feel like just part of the game, like everyone slags each other off and you have to be tough and keep up.

But working somewhere where you’re being intimidated or threatened is not on. It can have a really negative effect on both your performance and your confidence.

What is workplace bullying?

Bullying at work often takes the form of psychological or social intimidation, like:

  • verbal abuse, insulting your work or you (including your family, sex, sexuality, race or culture, education or economic background)
  • excluding or isolating you from people or situations
  • psychological harassment (playing mind games, ganging up on you)
  • giving you pointless tasks that have nothing to do with your job
  • giving you impossible jobs that can’t be done in the given time or with the resources provided
  • deliberately changing your work roster to make it difficult for you
  • deliberately holding back information you need to get your work done properly.

This sort of thing isn’t always obvious to everyone else, but over time, it can really affect you. That’s not to say that there can’t be more obvious, physical bullying in work too. These cases include:

  • pushing, tripping, grabbing or any other type of direct physical contact
  • attacking or threatening
  • any form of sexual harassment, such as flashing or groping
  • initiation or hazing – where you’re made to do humiliating things in order to be accepted as part of the team.

This can happen, and can get pretty serious. Remember, physical assault and threatening behaviour just isn’t on – for starters, it’s against the law.

How it can affect your work

If you’re being bullied at work, it can have a major effect on your work and your confidence. You might:

  • be less productive
  • be less confident in your work
  • feel scared, stressed, anxious or depressed
  • have your life outside of work affected, eg study, relationships
  • want to stay away from work
  • feel unable to trust your employer or the people you work with
  • lack confidence and self-esteem in yourself and your work
  • have physical symptoms of stress such as headaches, backaches, sleep problems.

See bullying for more about the other effects.

Why it happens

As with bullying at school or anywhere else, people who bully other people at work often have low self-esteem or have been a victim of violence themselves.

They use bullying as a way of exerting power to make themselves feel better.

If you’re dealing with bullying, remember whoever’s doing it is probably using it as a way of dealing with their own problems and it isn’t because of anything you’ve done.

They could be  motivated by jealousy, lack of knowledge, fear or misunderstanding. That doesn’t make it ok.

Your rights in the workplace

No one deserves or asks to be bullied, no matter what. Everyone has the right to work in an environment free from bullying, harassment, discrimination and violence. It’s not too much to ask.

Employers and employees have duties by law (Safety, Health and Welfare at Work Act 2005 ) to comply with any measures in place to promote health and safety within the workplace and not to put themselves or their colleagues at risk.

It’s worth keeping in mind that bullying is not the same as conflict. Disagreement and conflict happens, and you have to deal with that. You shouldn’t have to deal with aggression or intimidation.

What you can do

When you’re being intimidated or bullied by someone at work, it can feel as if your options are pretty limited.

You might want to avoid making a fuss, or think people will assume you’re making a big deal out of nothing.

If it’s a really macho or competitive environment, you might be worried it’ll seem like you’re not tough enough to handle it. You might also be worried about keeping your job.

But it shouldn’t go unchallenged. There are things you can do and people who can help.

  • Respond to the person calmly and firmly. Stand up straight, look them in the eye and be confident.
  • Find out exactly what your job description is and what your contract says. That way if they’re getting you to do stuff that goes beyond your remit, you can point it out completely factually.
  • Make sure you’re informed. Find out what the organisation’s policies and procedures are for preventing and handling bullying.
  • Keep a diary documenting everything that happens, including what you’ve done to try stopping it. This can help if you make a complaint.
  • Get external information and advice from bodies such as the union representing your industry, the Health and Safety Authority or the Equality Tribunal. These organisations can give you advice on your options and your rights.
    You can also ask them to act on your behalf if you don’t feel comfortable doing it. They should respect your confidentiality, though if you are concerned about this, ask them what their responsibilities are.
  • Tell someone. The person to talk to might be a Human Resource Manager. If there isn’t one you should report it directly to your employer, a supervisor/manager or health and safety representative (if your work has one).
    This situation might be able to be resolved informally, without any official complaint being made.
  • If the situation continues or is serious, you might need to make a formal (written) complaint that follows company policy. The person doing the bullying might be officially warned, and required to have counselling. If the bullying continues, there might be a mediation process. If all else fails, the person bullying might be fired.
  • If the bully is your employer or they don’t do anything to stop it, it’s important you get outside support and advice.

In all situations, whether it’s work or school or wherever, you should make sure you aren’t intimidating people, or ignoring the fact that someone else is being bullied.

More information

For more information about bullying, see what to do if you’re being bullied.

Comments Show all comments

  1. ReachOut.com says:

    Hi Not A Game Player,

    This sounds like a tough situation, and one that shouldn't be happening. We often encourage people to speak with their human resource managers to get support and help, but it doesn't sound like that would work in your case. We wonder if there's anyone else you could speak to about this, like a union rep or whether it would be worth getting some free legal advice about the situation?

    We think from your IP address that you are living in the US, is that right? We're based in Ireland and so we're not very familiar with support services in the US.
    It might be worth having a look online to see if there are any free legal aid centres in your local area. They could give you some advice on what you can do about what's happening at work.

    It might help for you to write down exactly what's been happening and to record any new information. Include as many details as you can along with dates and times. This will help you if you need to show someone else what's been going on.

    We hope you have someone outside of work, like a family member or friend you can speak to as well. Situations like this can be stressful and it's good for us to have someone we trust who we can talk to openly. Talking things through can help to reduce the stress we feel.

    We hope this helps.

    Take care,

  2. Not A Game Player says:

    Every year at work we have to fill out surveys on our management team. I've work at the store long enough to no you only answer positive remarks on ALL answers. At our meeting to review results one of our managers shared he's feeling about upper management and there laziness and lack of concern about store. (All true). Now one of the upper managers has threaten to make all the lower ranked managers work harder for speaking up. Manager has found out I was given this information and is now demanding I tell her who told me. This Manager is our Human Resource Manager.

  3. ReachOut.com says:

    Hi ducky

    I really am sorry to hear about everything that you are going through. Feeling uncomfortable in your workplace and like people have been making up lies about you must be very hard.

    You said that you are feeling anxious and depressed over this. I think it's a good idea to talk to someone you trust about everything you are going through. Speaking to someone can help take a weight off your shoulders and help you get fresh perspectives and advise. Is there a friend or family member that you could talk to about this? Talking to someone you trust could help you work out whether talking to your boss about these false accusations and how uncomfortable you have been feeling is something you want to do.

    If you are feeling very anxious and or depressed it may also be a good idea to talk to someone outside of the situation like your GP. Everybody needs a little extra support from time to time and you don't need to go through this alone. Your GP will be able to give you advise about how to manage your depression and anxiety so that you don't have to feel sick any more. It's also a good idea to see them just to rule out that your upset stomach isn't being caused by anything else that could be treated.

    I hope this helps,

  4. Ducky says:

    I was assist manager for almost 3 years...top performer at my work..never missed a day calling out sick...never late...
    A new manager came in about a month ago. They pretended to fairly give me a interview for the managers position but now Im realizing they never intended to promote me and only did it for show.
    I wont argue...when I started 3 years ago here I had a defensive attitude. Yet with time I have become a lot better with the way I express my feelings.
    Well...now my boss is making false accusations and trying to get me to sign documentations that are lies.
    I feel for some reason she does not like me and is trying to get enough documentation on me that way if she fires me I wont be able to collect unemplyment.

    I work with her today and I dont feel comfortable. I feel like she may try and make up another lie to write me up again.

    This is so unfair and I have been having so bad anxiety and depression over it. With an upset stomach going to the bathroom every hour and also getting sick...throwing up.

    What can I do??? Please help

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