When I was 14 years-old my best friend told me, “If someone asks you ‘How’s it going?’ You’re supposed to say ‘Fine.’ not ‘Well not great actually, because…’ the way you do”.

It was meant to be a valuable social lesson in how to fit in. In a way, it was, as not everyone needs to know what’s going wrong and why at any given time.

A hundred ways to ask “How are you?” But, there’s only one way to answer; “Grand”. That’s us, that’s the Irish way apparently.

Encouraging conversation

With ReachOut.com, and campaigns like Green Ribbon, we try to encourage conversation, get a dialogue going about mental health. But by the same token, we need to make sure we know how and when to listen.

Most of us recognise that talking about tough times is important. Getting things out in the open can be the best thing for you. Don’t bottle things up. But, who you open up to and how you do it is equally as important.

Who you talk to

Talking doesn’t have to be about going to see a counsellor or a doctor, though great if you can. It’s not an option for a lot of us. It can be expensive or there maybe none near you. You may have had a bad experience with one, or you just didn’t feel you could open up to them. It happens.

Family or friends can be just as helpful. So we can also be support for our friends and family. Therefore, how we are when someone opens up to us is very important.

How to listen

You could be the first person your friend or family member approach when going through something tough and so you need to be as understanding as possible. There are useful ways to listen to someone to make them feel heard and understood.

If someone tells you at three in the morning after a rake of drinks that they’ve been struggling a bit recently, you could be the first person they’ve told. Acknowledge it, but, maybe suggest talking about it again, when you’re able to take it in better and give them the time.

Clear expression

There are effective ways to communicate that we all could do with knowing, to make sure we all express ourselves clearly. Remember, it can also be quite overwhelming when someone opens up to you for the first time, so make sure you look after yourself too.

My friend was right, even though it’s not really what she meant, but there can be a better time and place. Let’s get everyone talking about mental health and let’s be ready and know how to listen. 

The Spin Café will be selling tea, coffee and muffins with your favorite Spin 1038 DJs broadcasting live from the café. There’ll also be a playstation gaming area, daily prizes and competitions for concert tickets.

Excitement!

One of the best parts is that all profits from the café will be going to ReachOut.com. Yes, that’s us!

Taking time out

In our busy daily lives it’s all too easy to forget to take time out for ourselves. This is your opportunity to have some fun and take some guilt-free time out for your mental health.

Treat yourself to a coffee, a muffin or even just some well-deserved gaming time. Making the time to relax and do things you enjoy is definitely a habit worth forming and will help you deal with those tough times, if they come around.

Bring your friends

This is your excuse to call up your friends to catch-up over a coffee. A gossip over a cuppa gives you the chance to vent, release tension and get a different perspective.

It’s also a great opportunity to check in with your friends and make sure they’re feeling great too.

Christmas is a time of turkey, tinsel and goodwill to all……well…..most anyway. But no matter how much you love your family being enclosed in a small space with them for an extended period of time can lead to tension.

Stressed out parents

Stress can be contagious. If mum’s running around like a headless chicken and insisting of making a martyr out of herself and dad’s grumpy old man act is stressing you out there are a few things you can do.

Parents can feel a lot of pressure to make things perfect for Christmas. Try to help your folks out by chopping some veggies, wrapping presents, setting the table or collecting people form the train station. If it’s all a bit much take some time out by yourself, listen to some music or go for a walk. Sometimes a little bit of space can do everyone good. Read more about dealing with stress.

Missing someone at Christmas

Christmas is a time full of traditions, memories and family. This can be hard for families who have lost someone or have a family member who can’t be there. This article has heaps of tips for coping with the feelings that can come when your missing someone at Christmas time.

The family inquisition

It was bound to happen it’s Christmas after all. Some nosey relative is questioning you in front of the whole family about every insecurity you’ve ever had. What are you doing with your life? Are you seeing anybody nice? Do you have a job yet?

Aunty Agnes actually may not be as evil as she appears at first. Remember there is a huge generation gap and things are really different to when she was your age. It may just be possible that they are not trying to embarrass you on purpose so use the opportunity to get to know them better. You never know you both may learn something.

If there’s a risk of something you really don’t feel comfortable talking about coming up, discuss this with some family members you trust beforehand. Try to come up with an action plan to change the subject.

Remember it’s your life, don’t let what other people think make you feel bad about who you are or where your at.

Fighting over the remote? Again?

So you get on great with your siblings usually but being forced to spend time with them in your child-hood-home makes you revert to your five- year-old self. This is actually pretty normal, try to remember that your family members are probably feeling the same way so try to cut them some slack. If cabin fever begins to set in, get some space by going for a walk, reading a book or meeting up with some friends.

Loads of people got back to us on it, and thanks to you and our research team, ReachOut.com has just published a new report about young people, mental health and the Internet.

The report is about how people aged 16-25 understand mental health, who they talk to and how online places like ReachOut.com can help when people are going through tough times. If you’re interested, you can read the report here.

We hope it’s going to help us, and everyone, provide people with the support they need when things are tough. So we wanted to thank everyone who took the time to fill out the survey, and everyone who comes to ReachOut.com.

If you ever have any comments, ideas or issues you’d like covered, let us know. Whether you’re going through a tough time, or you want to help a friend, we want to give you the information and support you need to get through it.

Objective

We launched ReachOut.com last year on 5 November and our main objective was, and remains to be, to help young people get through tough times.

Sharing information

We’ve been doing this by creating a ReachOut community of over 2,000 members, providing a platform for people to share their experiences and hosting a place to get trustworthy information on mental health issues either for yourself or someone you know

At the beginning

ReachOut’s roots belong in Australia and last November, the Australian rugby team popped in to see how an organisation that was founded in Australia was kicking off (there was no sporting pun intended there, honestly) in Ireland.

Just because things look perfect…

In January we launched our first ad campaign with online, radio and posters across the country highlighting the message that just because things might look perfect on the outside, it doesn’t mean they are. Thanks to fantastic support from our partners we were able to get this message out to thousands of people across Ireland while promoting ReachOut.com.

Comedy

In June we hosted a comedy night with Declan Rooney, Joe Rooney, Pat McDonnell and Cian Hallinan. The night was a whole lot of laughs, while raising valuable funds for our work. In fact, keep an eye out for Pat McDonnell as you’ll see him on ReachOut.com again very soon.

Comedians Dermot Whelan and Jason Byrne have also given ReachOut.com very personal and helpful tips on looking after your mental health.

Festivals

If you were at Oxegen this year you may have clapped eyes on some extra special wellies and tents, all designed by the ReachOut team. We managed to spray painted 216 wellies and 40 tents in the rain. It is obligatory to rain at Oxegen, granted, but this was quite an achievement. Thanks to Laura Whitmore, our home-grown MTV presenter, for launching this.

At Kings of Concrete 7,500 hoops were dunked/basketballs were thrown and went through baskets (y’see not so comfortable with sporting terms) to win special edition Maser-tagged t-shirts. Yep, 7,500!

The aim of ReachOut.com

While we’d like to take this opportunity to say a BIG THANK YOU to all of you who have gotten involved, it’s important to note that it’s not all fun and games. As mentioned we want to help you get through times so we’d like to know if you think we’re doing a good job? Are we going about it the right way? Have we helped in any way?

This is a service for you and we’d very much like to hear your thoughts to help us improve ReachOut.com either by commenting here or mail us at info@inspireireland.com.