We’re sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Workplaces can be stressful but if it’s really driving you mad then it’s time to do something about it.

We wonder is there a HR person or a manager or a trade union representative you could talk to about this? If there are specific things that are driving you mad, then maybe there are things a HR person or a manager could do to help? It might help to make a list of anything that adds to making you hate your workplace. Then take each of them individually and see what, if anything, you or a manager could do to make those things better. There might not be anything you can do, but it’s worth making the list so you can see what you’re dealing with and how much would have to change before you would be happy in that workplace.

If you have already spoken to a manager or if you feel like there’s no way to change how you feel about your workplace, it might be worth thinking about changing jobs. Work shouldn’t drive you mad or stress you out – you have to think about yourself and your mental health. Being in an environment that you don’t like day after day isn’t good for anyone’s mental health.

It’s hard these days to think about leaving a job when you don’t know if you’ll get anything else, but we would encourage you to start looking for a new job and see what else is out there.

If you feel like you’re being bullied or harassed in your workplace, you might want to check out our factsheet on bullying in the workplace.

There are some ways of dealing with stress like taking time out for ourselves to relax, exercising and doing breathing exercises. Our factsheet on stress goes into these in more detail. Being able to deal with stress might make it easier to cope at work, for example if you feel yourself getting stressed at work and unable to cope, maybe just go outside for a bit and get some fresh air or do the breathing exercise at your desk if possible.

We hope you have a friend or family member you can talk to about this. It can be tough to go through things like this on our own, so we hope you have someone in your life you can share it with.

If you would prefer to speak with someone you don’t know, you can contact the Samaritans on 1850 60 90 90 24 hours a day or email jo@samaritans.org. The Samaritans are confidential and won’t judge anything you have to say and can be a great source of support if there’s something we want to talk about.

We hope this helps Frederick.

Take care,
Fenella

I really am sorry to hear about what you are going through. If you think that your medication isn’t helping you or that you doctor isn’t listening to you then you should get a second opinion. Nothing you are going through is your fault and there are heaps of therapies and strategies out there that can help you as well as medication.

It must be really frustrating to feel that you have been doing everything that your doctor has advised and to not see much improvement. It’s a really good idea to ask the advise of other professionals so you can make sure that you are getting the best possible treatment for what you are going through. Different things work for different people so it may take some time to find the right professional that helps you, but it will be worth it.

It’s really great that you can see positives in your life and that you have support around you. This can be really hard to recognise when we are going through a tough time so it’s really positive that you know this. It’s a shame that you don’t feel comfortable telling your boyfriend about everyone that is going on for you but it is important that you do reach out to someone. It can be daunting at first but all anyone wants is for you to be OK and to be allowed to support you. You don’t have to go through this on your own. Reaching out to a trusted friend or family member can make a huge difference.

We all need a little extra help sometimes and it can be much easier for us to talk to someone outside of the situation. A professional like a psychologist or counselor will be able to help you understand what you are going through and help you come up with coping strategies.

Bodywhys is a really great service that offers support groups, a low call helpline and email support for people suffering from eating disorders. They are really friendly and will understand what you are going through and will be able to recommend further strategies and services that you may find helpful.

It’s especially important to talk to someone if you are having suicidal thoughts. You need to take these seriously and keep yourself safe. It may not feel like it right now but you can get through this and finding the right person to open up to will make all the difference.

Keep reaching out
Roisin

Thanks for your comment and advise. Listening is one of the keys to being a good friend. Sometimes it can be hard to just listen and not jump in with your own stories or advise but sometimes that is just what your friends need. You may want to check out some more tips on the listening and being open mined fact sheet.

Take Care
Roisin

It sounds like you are going through a really tough time. If you are hiding away and feeling like you hate yourself then you really need to speak to somebody about it.

I am sorry to hear that your doctor didn’t help you, maybe you would consider going to see a different doctor for a second opinion?

Not all medications will help everyone and it can take some time to find one that works for you, or maybe medication isn’t the answer for you, there are lots of different types of therapy that can help too. The important thing is that you speak to someone and work out together with them what kinds of things will help you. You may have to try a few different things but it will be worth it. You deserve to be happy and with the right help you can be.

If you are hearing voices then smoking cannabis can make this experience a lot worse. I know that you said cannabis helps you and it can help people to relax but it is definitely not recommended when you are going through a tough time. As you said your mental health is not the best at the moment it is probably a good thing that you are not smoking it at the moment.

Family and friends can be a really god place to start to find support when we are going through a tough time. Talking to someone you trust can help you get things into perspective and come up with a strategy to find the right help to get through this.

It may also be a good idea to speak to a professional like a counselor who who will be able to help you. You can find a counselor in your local area through the counselling directory. This section of the site explains all about services you can use if you are going through a tough time and different types of therapy too.

You can get through this and finding the right person to talk to will make all the difference.

Keep reaching out
Roisin

It sounds like you’re going through a pretty tough and confusing time.

Any big changes in our life, like changing jobs, can be daunting and intimidating and it’s not unusual to feel anxious about it. We can hear that you are quite scared about it though and that there’s a lot going on for you right now and so we hope that the information below will be of help. You can get through this, and the way you’re feeling now won’t last forever.

You say you are taking medication for depression, and we understand that you don’t want to become dependent on it. We’re all different and some of us need to take medication for longer than others, it doesn’t mean that you will always need it and while it’s good to try to stop taking it, if you feel you need to take it again so that you feel better, then that’s ok.

We wonder have you ever spoken to someone like a counsellor about how you feel. Medication can work well but it’s generally a good idea to try other things as well and often a combination of medication and talking therapy can be very effective. We would encourage you to make an appointment with the doctor who prescribes your medication to a) review the medication you are taking and b) to ask for a recommendation for a counsellor or psychiatrist. It’s sometimes scary to think about talking to counsellors or psychiatrists but they can just give us an extra level of support that we need to help us through. They can give us coping strategies that can help us when things get tough and we can talk to them about difficult decisions that we need to make. Click here for some information that might be useful if you decide to speak with a counsellor. You could also look up a counsellor yourself on the Counselling Directory website.

You say you feel like you’re affecting everyone around you but we’re sure your friends and family would want to be there for you. We wonder if you have tried talking to trusted friends or family members about how you are feeling? It can be hard for people to understand unless we try to be open with them and let them know what’s going on for us. So we would encourage you to talk openly with someone you trust and let them know how you feel. Talking things through with others can help relieve stress, bring a fresh perspective and can help us work things out.

As well as talking to a counsellor and a trusted friend or family member, things like eating healthily, and getting enough sleep and exercise can help to reduce feelings of depression and anxiety. You can read more about it here http://ie.reachout.com/getting-help/minding-your-mental-health/.
If you ever feel like talking to someone but don’t feel like talking to someone you know, the Samaritans helpline is open every day 24 hours a day. You can call them on 1850 60 90 90 or email them jo@samaritans.org.

We hope this helps Carol and that you do talk to the people we’ve mentioned above; your doctor, a counsellor and a trusted friend or family member. You’ll get through this.

Take care,
Fenella

It sounds like you are going through a really tough time. Whether you have bipolar or not, seeing a professional like a counsellor can really help, especially if you are feeling down. It sounds like you have already recognised that pulling away from your friends and feeling unmotivated is not good for you. A professional like a counsellor will be able to help you understand why you are feeling like this, come up with strategies to cope when you are feeling down or manic and help you recognise your triggers so that you can manage your mood swings better.

It may take some time to find the right professional that clicks with you but it will be worth it/ The important thing to remember that a counsellor can only help you if you tell them the truth about everything you are going through.

It is really sad to hear that you feel you could be discriminated against for going through a tough time. Everyone has mental health just like physical health and we all need to take care of our mental health. Everyone will go through a tough time a some stage in their life and although this will look different for all of us but we will all need some extra support at some stage.

If you don’t feel comfortable with getting a diagnosis then talk to your counsellor about it It’s possible to address what you are going through and work on strategies for getting through without having a label. As concern over being diagnosed has been a barrier to you getting the help you need in the past then talk about this openly with your mental health professional. That’s what they’re there for and the most important thing for everyone is that you get that little bit of extra support you need to get through your tough time.

If you do decide to get a diagnosis this will be 100% confidential. The only way people will find out is if you feel comfortable telling them. You do not have to disclose it to anyone if you are not comfortable with it.

Also no one can force you to take medication. It is up to your mental health professional to discuss with you the treatment options that in their opinion would best suit you but at the end of the day the choice is up to you. If medication is recommended as something that may help you, take as much time as you want researching and coming to a decision of what you thing would suit you best. It’s also a good idea to always get a second opinion where medication is concerned and this is something that your mental health professional will understand.

Keep reaching out

Roisin

It sounds like you’re in a tricky situation. It must have been tough for both of you to discover you were pregnant after only a week of being with each other. It sounds like you both tried to make the best of it though and despite the ups and downs of your relationship, you’re still together.

If you feel unsure about your relationship, those feelings of uncertainty probably won’t go away without dealing with them. We wonder whether you have spoken to your partner about how you feel and asked him how he sees the future for the both of you. He does seem to recognise that things are not ok at the moment and he seems to be trying to keep you happy by suggesting that you should move up to where you’re from. You say in your comment that you would like more of a commitment than this though, and we’re wondering if he knows this? If he doesn’t want to commit any further, then you have to decide if you’re ok with that? If not, you need to let him know and talk it through with him.

We can’t tell you what to do in this situation unfortunately; it’s something you have to figure out for yourself. It’s good that you’re trying to think this through and are asking for help as it can be really tough to deal with confusing situations like these on our own. Talking things through can help you to figure this out. If you have a trusted friend or family member, we would encourage you to talk to them so that you have someone close to you who knows what you’re going through and that you can talk to openly.

These factsheets on ReachOut.com might help you as you try to work this out.

http://ie.reachout.com/inform-yourself/sex-and-relationships/communication-in-relationships/

http://ie.reachout.com/inform-yourself/sex-and-relationships/relationships-sex-and-relationships/relationship-problems/

We hope this reply helps you to figure things out Devina,

Take care,
Fenella

It sounds like you are going through a really tough time. Feeling anxious and dead inside isn’t very nice.

It sounds like you love your family a lot. It’s important to remember that they love you a lot too and they would be very upset if they knew you were going through a tough time alone and not seeking help because you were scared of burdening them. You deserve to be happy and you need to tell your family what you are going through. Remember if you don’t take care of yourself then you won’t be able to help them.

That said if you don’t feel ready to tell your family yet you can’t let that stop you from seeking outside help.

It’s a really good idea to speak to your guidance counselor. Speaking to them will help you release tension, get a fresh perspective and work on strategies to help you feel better.

Your local GP is also another good place to start. They can give you advice and refer you on to services in your local area that will be able to help you.

You may even want to speak to a counselor who will be able to help you understand what you are going through and come up with strategies to help you get through this tough time and start to feel better. You guidance counselor or GP should be able to recommend a counselor or you can find one at conselingdirectry.ie. You can even speak to some counselors online outside of school hours if you are not ready to explain what you are going through to your family yet.

Remember you don’t have to go on feeling like this and finding the right person to speak to will make all the difference. Seeking the help that you need really is the best thing you could possibly do to support your family.

Keep Reaching Out

Roisin

It sounds like you are going through a really tough time. Feeling lonely all the time and like your confidence is at rock bottom must be really tough. Break up’s are really hard to go through and with everything else you are dealing with it can really take its toll on your self-esteem and mental health.

If everything you are going through is affecting your home and work life then you need to speak to somebody about it. Your problems are real problems and if you are feeling hopeless all the time then you need to take this seriously.

Speaking to somebody outside of the situation like your GP or a counselor is a really good place to start. Your GP should be able to recommend a good counselor or you can find one at counselingdirectory.ie. A professional will be able to help you understand what you are going through and come up with strategies to help you deal with the low self esteem and hurt you are dealing with.

What you are going through is very difficult. Coming on here to ask for advice was a great first step but you need to keep reaching out. No one should have to go through everything you are experiencing alone. You deserve to be happy and finding the right person to talk to will make all the difference.

Keep reaching out
Roisin

Sorry to be a burden but I just need advice. I feel really lonely all the time even though I still live at home and I’m nearly 29. I don’t have many friends and the friends I do have have moved on with their lives ie married with children. I feel so pathetic when I talk to them about my problems as they have real problems. I was seeing someone for 6 years and gave him everything, my support, my love and a lot of money. I was really close to his family and its been nearly a year since he texted me to say its over and I’m still so lost and upset. They never contact me to see how I am even though I did so much for them. It has changed me for the worst I fear. I have no patience for people, my confidence is rock bottom and it is effecting my home and work life. I met another guy soon after the break-up and he is a nice guy but I come second to everything. When he leaves me down time and time again it really hurts and I just want to sleep and never wake up. I can’t bear being hurt again. He is younger and is very immature. I feel like I’m just existing and don’t know how to move on to change my life in some way so I can stop feeling so hopeless all the time. I hate confrontation and I am currently ignoring my boyfriend who let me down, Again. I know people have much bigger problems in the world but I just want to know how I can return to the loving and giving person I used to be and stop being the sad and hopeless case I’ve become. I would love if you could give me advice in how to make changes in my life for the better. I just feel so lost and loney.

Thanks for writing in to us. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. It’s not nice to feel isolated or to feel like you have lost confidence is lots of things. We’re also very sorry to hear that you’re not happy. Even though you feel like you have lost confidence in people and support services, there are always people who can and want to help.

We understand from your address that you’re living in Australia? We are an Irish website and are replying to you from Ireland now, but there is a ReachOut.com in Australia too and we think they would be better able to direct you to people who can help and support you as they will know about all the Australian supports available.

We would encourage you to get in touch with ReachOut.com Australia by following this link: http://au.reachout.com/. They have information about isolation that might be helpful to you, see http://au.reachout.com/Tough-Times/Somethings-not-right/Isolation-and-loneliness

You mention that you would like to talk to somebody, and as we are based in Ireland and are not familiar with Australian supports services, we would suggest calling Lifeline on 13 11 14. Lifeline is an Australian helpline and they are open 24 hours a day, so if you ever need to talk they are there to listen confidentially.

We hope that with the help of ReachOut.com in Australia and Lifeline, that you get the support you need and deserve and that you can start feeling happy again.

Take care Jamie,
Fenella

It sounds like you’re going through a tough time and that must be very hard for you. We all feel stressed from time to time but if you’re feeling so stressed that you’re snapping at your family, crying and not sleeping well it’s really important that you get some support.

I know you say that you’re no good at anything and it might feel like that right now but we all have strengths and weaknesses and sometimes, when we’re feeling stressed, it can be harder to see our strengths. You deserve to feel better about yourself and with a little support I’m sure you will.

Your family and friends would want to know how you’re feeling and while telling them might seem like a really hard thing to do right now it will make a difference. Maybe try talking to your mom at a time when there is nothing else going on, when there are no other distractions. Do you ever go somewhere in the car together? Or is there usually a quiet time after dinner when you both could make time for a chat so you can talk through things slowly and work out why you might be feeling down so that you can get the help you need?

Leaving Cert year can be very stressful so please reach out to a family member or friend and tell them how you’re feeling. Another option would be to talk to someone outside of the situation, maybe a voluntary service like Samaritans or to a counsellor. I know you tried counselling before but there are lots of different approaches to counselling and it may be that you just didn’t have a counsellor that suited your needs at the time. You can find loads of information on counselling on the Counselling Directory website. If you don’t feel like talking to anyone at the moment why not take one of the missions on our Work Out application which is designed to help us feel better about ourselves. There is a mission called ‘My Strengths’ in the Building Confidence section that might be worth checking out.

Please do talk to someone Mary, you deserve to feel better and with a little bit of support I’m sure you can move in the right direction and start to get that extra bit of help that will make you feel better,

Take care
Derek

If you’re still in the care of a local GP they could refer you to a therapist. To find a therapist yourself nearby you could try http://www.counsellingdirectory.ie and they list qualified therapists in each county along with the styles/type of therapy they do. If there is no one near enough to you or if cost or travel is a factor, as you said you’re living in a small town in the west, there are a number of clinically guided online offerings you could try. http://www.online-therapy.com/ is a well endorsed CBT programme. It’s not free, but can work out cheaper than seeing a CBT therapist face to face. http://www.headsup.ie/selfhelp/index.php is a free CBT programme that could give you a good flavour of what CBT is about, but both programmes are worth taking a look at.

http://mymind.org/ also offer online therapy that could be helpful to for you to be checking in with someone about taking on this kind of therapy and see how you. As it seems you’ve been through quite a bit already this might be worth checking out first, as it would give you the chance to fully describe your history, working with the therapist to help you choose what programme would suit you best.

We hope these are helpful and best of luck with them.
Take care

Naoise Kavanagh

There is clearly a lot going on for you right now and we hope we can point you in the direction of the support you need to get through this.

At ReachOut.com we’re not counsellors so we asked one of our clinical advisers to help us in responding to you. She recognised that you don’t seem to have a lot of support around you and that’s obviously makes things more difficult for you.

What she recommends is that you enter into a supportive interaction over a period of time with someone you can build up a trust with. This could be a GP, psychologist or a counsellor. We know that money can be an issue for a lot of people right now but maybe you have a medical card? If you decide to speak with your GP you may need to book a longer appointment than is standard and you can mention this to the secretary when you’re booking (and you don’t need to tell her why). Sometimes our mood can be affected by physical problems like problems with our thyroid gland and this is something that your GP can also check.

Counselling might be a helpful option for you instead and you can search for low cost counselling on which has a listing by county.

Otherwise, all of us can benefit from extra support from the people we know when we’re going through a tough time. Is there anyone close to you that you can talk to? Sometimes it can seem really hard to tell people around us how we’re feeling but by opening up to someone we can begin to feel better about our situation and the way we’re feeling.

You’ve taken a step in getting further support by contacting us so please continue reaching out for the support you need and deserve to help you get through this
Take care
Derek

It must tough not being able to move past the way you’re feeling at the moment but it’s good that you’re looking for support and that you have good insight into your problems.

At ReachOut.com we work closely with Drugs.ie and they have a good directory of services for alcohol problems. There are “free to access” alcohol and addiction support services (HSE) in all parts of the country and you shouldn’t need a GP referral – you can just contact your nearest service and make an appointment. The waiting list time will depend on where you are in the country.

You can always talk to your GP about this as well and he or she can advise you on different services in your area.

Apart from formal services – do you have anyone close to you that you can talk to, a family member or friend? It can be hard to open up about problems like depression and alcohol dependence but you might be surprised by how supportive people are when we open up to them…people genuinely want to help.

You mention that you’ve been having suicidal thoughts. We would strongly encourage you to talk to someone about those feelings…whether it’s someone close to you, a health professional or a support service like Samaritans ( e-mail address is jo@samaritans.org ) or 1Life (1800 247 100).

It might be hard to see it right now but there are ways past the way you’re feeling. In the area of alcohol dependence there are lots of psychological interventions that are fairly straightforward to do and are effective in helping people to change behaviour around their drinking.

Please do contact face to face supports and, if you feel there is someone close to you who you trust, let them know what you’re going through.

We know you want to feel better and you deserve to get through this tough time,

Take care
Derek

We are really sorry to hear about everything you have been going through. If these thoughts have been bothering you then it is a “real problem”. It is a really good thing that you came on here and told us how you are feeling and very brave. It is not a “waste of time”. You deserve to be happy and with the right help you can deal with the feelings that are worrying you.

We don’t think you are mean at all. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of thinking negative things about yourself. When you tell yourself bad things about yourself often enough, sometimes you can end up believing them but they are not true. This fact sheet explains more about negative thinking and has tips about how you can think more positively.

The best thing you can do is speak to somebody about what you are going through. Speaking to someone will help you release tension, get things into perspective and come up with strategies to deal with your anger and other issues that are bothering you. You said that if you spoke to someone about what you are going through you would be “afraid they would hate me”. Although we don’t think this is true we do understand how scary it can be to open up to someone. For this reason it can be much easier to open up to someone outside the situation like a GP or counselor.

Here is some information about making an appointment and speaking to your GP. You can find a counselor to talk to at the counseling directory, seeing a counselor for the first time has information on what to expect.

Reaching out for the first time can be scary but it will be worth it. Speaking to someone about everything you are going through will make all the difference so that you can start to feel better.

Keep reaching out

Roisin.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. We can hear how confused you are and it’s really positive that you recognise that something isn’t right and that you are looking for support and help. Even though things feel tough right now, they can get better.

You’re not alone in finding it hard to voice your thoughts and feelings out loud, it can be really difficult and that’s one of the reasons why ReachOut.com was set up, to allow people to write down their feelings and use the Internet to seek information and support.

Well done for reaching out to your school guidance counsellor, it’s great that you were able to talk to him or her and we hope we can help you find someone else to talk to during the summer months. Feeling like we have no one to talk to is not a nice feeling; it can feel like our safety net is gone.

As a first step to getting help, the best person to talk to is probably your family doctor/GP. As you’re only 15, a parent or guardian will need to be with you when going to visit your GP. This means talking to your parent(s) or guardian(s) about how you are feeling, which can sometimes feel pretty impossible, but chances are you’ll feel a big sense of relief once you talk to them. By letting them know how you are feeling, you are giving them a chance to support you and be there for you, something we’re sure they would want to do.

We don’t know what part of Ireland you live in, but it might be worth checking http://www.jigsaw.ie to see if there is a Jigsaw site in your local area. Jigsaw tries to ensure that young people across Ireland have somewhere to turn and someone to talk to. Many of the Jigsaw sites are still being developed, but check it out just in case you are close to one that’s up and running.

You could also check http://www.counsellingdirectory.ie to see if there are counsellors in your area who work with young people. A parent or guardian will probably need to give consent for you to talk to a counsellor. These counsellors can be there for you just as your school counsellor was.

If you feel like you would prefer to write and email instead of talk face-to-face, you could email jo@samaritans.org. This is a completely confidential email service.

Keep up the running and check out this part of ReachOut.com for other tips that can help you look after your mental health. It might also help to read through some of the real stories on ReachOut.com which will show you how things can get better no matter how tough it seems. We find lots of these stories really inspirational and we hope you get some comfort and inspiration from them too.

We hope you find someone to talk to and that this reply has been helpful.

Take care Saibh,
Fenella

Keep reaching out
Roisin

Being on the receiving end of bullying behaviour can really chip away at you and half a damaging impact on your self esteem and so it’s really important that you looking after your mental health and well-being right now. It’s great that you’re obviously conscious of this as you’ve come here to find out some information. Talking to someone you can trust and is outside the situation would be really helpful for you to assist you through this difficult time.

It could really help you at this time to make sure you’re getting involved with things you enjoy outside of work, probably not what you feel like doing because this person is getting you down but could really make a difference to you.

I know you say you have tried to talk to some of the staff and they weren’t listening to you but is there a way you can try and find out what your work’s policy and procedures are on bullying? Bullying should never be tolerated and many companies are supposed to have policies on how to deal with it.

There are some tips in bullying at work http://ie.reachout.com/inform-yourself/bullying-and-personal-safety/bullying-at-work/. You may have tried some of these already but they could be worth trying again. There are also some good links to external bodies that can provide you with information about your rights.

We hope this helps somewhat Francis
Take care
Naoise

We’re really sorry to hear about how you’ve been feeling and the impact this is having on you and your family. As we’ve mentioned here already the team at ReachOut are not doctors or counsellors but we will try to point you in the direction of the support you need to get through this. We will also talk to our clinical advisers in the coming days and pass on their advice to you as well.

While everyone goes through ups and downs, get stressed and even obsesses about things, if your anxiety and ocd is affecting you on a daily basis – as you realise yourself – you do need some extra support. You may already be using health services but it’s probably worth talking to your GP as soon as possible about how you’re currently feeling. If you think you might need a longer session with your GP you can mention that to the secretary when you make an appointment. It may also be worth writing down questions and issues that you would like to discuss before the appointment in case you don’t remember them all when you’re there. Your GP (or any GP) can advise you of the different options available to you.

Another option might be to talk to a counsellor. If you feel this might be helpful for you, there are a number of free and low-cost counselling services across the country. As we’ve explained here to Colin recently the website http://www.counsellingdirectory.ie explains the counselling process, cost issues (some services just charged based on what a person can afford) and can help you locate a suitable counsellor in your local area.

There are also a number of voluntary support organisations that can help you and your GP should be able to advise you on the options available locally.

It’s important to know that you’re not alone in the way you’re feeling and that you can get through this and feel better again. You mention that you’re having bad thoughts. If you’re feeling suicidal, you can call the 1Life helpline on 1800 24 7 100 any time of the day or night or text “help” to 51444. 1Life is staffed by trained counsellors and they can talk through your feelings with you. You can also contact Samaritans by calling 1850 609090 or by emailing jo@samaritans.org.
If you have a friend or family member nearby that you trust, please tell them about how you’re feeling. You and your children deserve the extra support you might need at the moment to help you get past the way you’ve been feeling. If you are in immediate crisis now please contact one of the services above – you can also contact emergency services at any time of the day or night.
It’s important that you keep yourself safe, so please do talk to someone. The idea of telling someone that you’re having thoughts of suicide is scary, but it can bring a sense of relief and be an important step in getting support. You don’t have to go through this alone.
If you don’t trust yourself to keep safe and you’re in danger of hurting yourself, call 999 or go straight to the A&E department of your nearest hospital.
Please do talk to someone, either on one of the helplines above (and you can use text or email) or someone you trust, to help you get through this. You can get through this and feel better again.

As I mentioned we will ask our clinical advisers about your comment to us as well and get back to you as soon as we can

Take care
Derek

I am really sorry to hear about your binge eating disorder. It is great that you have recognised that binge eating is an issue for you and that you are looking to find support and help. Contacting us is a great first step.

You do not have to go through this alone. Sharing honestly about who you are and what you are going through is very important. Talking to trusted friend or family member about what you are going through is an important first step in feeling supported in recovering from your binge eating.

If your binge eating is getting to the extent that it is interfering with your normal everyday life then you need to speak to someone about it. A GP or a counsellor are great places to start. They can help you deal with the underlying issues causing you to binge eat and help you come up with strategies to deal with these overwhelming emotions in a healthier way.

Bodywhys has a directory of professionals that specialise in helping people with eating issues. Bodywhys also have a low cost help line and support groups to help support you through everything you are experiencing. They are really friendly so we hope you give them a call.

You may also want to have a read of or fact sheet on binge eating disorders for more information about binge eating and where you can go for help.

Keep reaching Out
Roisin

We are really sorry to hear about the anxiety you have been experiencing. Feeling like you could stop your own heart and die sounds very scary and must be making your anxiety even worse. 

Like the doctors say it isn’t possible to stop your own heart, but that doesn’t mean that the experience still isn’t very frightening.

Feeling anxious and like you are tripping, having trouble breathing and having chest pains to the extent that you feel that you might die from them, sounds like you could be experiencing panic attacks. Panic attacks can be very scary, but it is important to remember that they are time limited and although they are very frightening they are not fatal. The good news is that with the right help you can learn to control and even avoid having this anxiety. You do not have to feel this way forever!

It sounds like this anxiety is really affecting your life so you need to take it very seriously and tell someone about what you are going through. The best place to start is your GP. They will be able to do a physical screening and give you a referral to a good psychologist. If you are feeling anxious about speaking to someone a good trick is to write everything you want to say down before hand. This way if you get anxious you can just read out how you are feeling or hand the writing to the doctor. If you are feeling anxious you could ask a trusted family member or friend to go with you.

A psychologist will be able to help you work through what is causing your anxiety and panic attacks and will be able to help you come up with strategies to manage and avoid anxiety in the future. It will take time and hard work to work through everything but you can get through this!

One type of therapy that has been found effective in helping with anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). You can read more about CBT here.

We can’t say whether a professional will recommend medication for you, but it is important to remember that professionals will only prescribe medication if they feel it will help you. No one can force you to take medication, it is important that you speak openly with your professional especially if you have strong feelings against taking medication.  It is the job of the professional you are working with to work with you on a treatment plan that you are comfortable with.

We also have fact sheets with more information about what you can do to help your self and where you can go for help if you are experiencing anxiety and panic attacks.

Keep reaching out
Roisin

Thanks for your comment, it sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. At ReachOut.com, we’re not experts in bipolar, so we sent your comment on to one of our clinical advisors to give you the best reply we can.

We were told that depending on how the person is, people with bipolar can say different things at different times. As you probably already know, people with bipolar generally experience both highs and lows. If they are high then anything is possible and they will promise the earth and mean it at the time. The illness can also make them very impulsive and sexually overactive, which can lead to infidelity. However, during a low mood, they can often then become depressed in which case they can feel that they are useless and therefore even simple things are impossible.

Bipolar can be managed quite well with the right support. You say your friend is on his meds and takes the right measure to help himself; this suggests that maybe his reluctance to be truthful is more about his self-esteem and his understanding of your relationship than a symptom of his bipolar. He might be afraid that you won’t like the person he is now and is afraid to tell the truth in case you leave him altogether.

It sounds like you have been through a lot together and so it may be worth discussing with him one last time that you can cope with the bipolar, but not with the lack of truth. It is hard to know what’s best to do, but maybe it’s worth one last try?

You mention that your friend is going to a support group. There are support groups for the friends and relatives of people with mental illness too. These groups can be of great benefit to friends and relatives and if it’s something you’re interested in attending, you can visit Shine online for more details.

Take care,
Fenella

Thanks for getting in touch. We’re sorry to hear about what you’re going through and hope we can point you in the right direction to get the help you want and deserve.

There are lots of people you can talk to about what’s going on for you and they can help you to work through your feelings and what you’re experiencing.

Samaritans provide confidential emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair. There are a number of ways to get in touch with Samaritans; call in to their Dublin branch located at 112 Marlborough St, Dublin 1. Its open 10am – 9pm seven days a week and no appointment is necessary. You can contact their helpline 24 hours a day on 1850 60 90 90 or for support via email, you can email jo@samaritans.org.

If you feel like it might be helpful to talk to a counsellor, there are a number of free and low-cost counselling services in Dublin. The website http://www.counsellingdirectory.ie explains the counselling process, cost issues (some services just charged based on what a person can afford) and can help you locate a suitable counsellor in your local area.

The webpage http://www.northsidecic.ie/community.html mentions Northside Counselling Service, which is based in Coolock and offers confidential counselling. Call 01 848 4789 or email ncsl@eircom.net for more information or to make an appointment.

If you’re ever in an emergency and feel you need immediate help or you ever feel that you might hurt yourself or someone else do call 999 or go straight to A&E.

If possible, could you talk to a trusted friend or family member? Sharing what we’re going through with people who know us and care about us can really help and having someone to talk to on a day-to-day basis can be a great source of support.

You can get through this and we hope that you’re able to get in touch with one of the services above and that you get the help you want and deserve.

Take care,
Fenella

It can be really difficult to know how to feel or what to do when someone close to us has confided that they are thinking of taking their own life. We agree that the fact that your brother has reached out to you is a very positive sign.

It is important that you take your brother’s feelings seriously and link him in to services that can help him.

If you feel like your brother may be in immediate danger of ending his life then you need to call emergency services straight away.

If your brother is confident that he can keep himself safe for a period of time then the next step is to link him in to help and prepare a safety plan for him.

A safety plan is a list of things that he can do if he feels like he is in immediate danger of ending his life e.g. call emergency services, the Samaritans, a friend or practice distraction techniques.

Contacting a friend or family member in Wexford and letting them know what is going on so that can either stay with your brother if he feels that there is at an immediate risk or that your brother can call if he feels he needs support is a really good idea.

If your brother feels like he is able to keep himself safe for tonight he still needs to talk to a professional about everything he is going through as soon as possible. His local GP would be a good place to start. As he has suffered from depression for several years it is likely that he is linked in to other kinds of help like a psychologist or counsellor. If so, he should contact them as soon as possible to let them know how he is feeling. If he is not already linked in to this kind of help then he can get a referral from his GP or look up the counselling directory to find help in his area.

Remember the Samaritans are there as an extra 24/7 support if your brother ever feels like he needs to talk or to use as a distraction technique.

This fact sheet has more practical advice on what you can do if someone you know is having suicidal thoughts.

It can be very stressful and overwhelming when you are concerned about a family member. Remember to take time out for yourself. The supports like the Samaritans are there for you too if you feel like you need to talk through what you are going through. You don’t have to deal with this on your own.

Keep reaching out,

Roisin

It must be very frustrating to feel your son is shutting you out when you are trying to reach out to him.. It sounds like you know that it is important for your son to open up about what he is going through but because of the nature of tough times is it common for people to find it challenging to open up about them, especially young men.

Would your son be open to speaking to someone removed from the situation like a friend, another family member, GP or counsellor? Often people find it easier to open up to someone outside of the situation so that they don’t feel like they are worrying their family and so they can get a fresh perspective. There are people out there who have specific skills and training to help people going through tough times like your son. The most important thing is that your son opens up to somebody, he doesn’t need to talk to everyone all of the time but he does need to find someone to talk to about what he is going through.

You have done the right thing by reaching out to your son and giving him the opportunity to speak about his problems. As helpless as it may leave us feeling, there is only so much we can do for someone else and ultimately it’s up to your son to realise that he needs help.We can’t force anyone to open up or to seek help, but we can make it clear that we are there for them no matter what and ready to listen whenever they need to talk. We can also make it clear that there are other supports and people to talk to, like a GP or a counsellor.

It can be really stressful when you are worried about a loved one. It is important to remember that although it may be hard you have to look after yourself first. After all if you are not OK then you will not be able to be there for your son. It may be beneficial for you to speak to someone like a counsellor about everything you are going through. A professional may also be able to help you come up with strategies to continue to support your son.


The 1Life helpline is a freephone suicide prevention helpline both for people who feel suicidal and concerned family and friends. Their number is 1800 24 7 100 and it is available 24 hours a day

Take care
Roisin