Benefits of talking to someone
If you or someone you know is going through a tough time, talking to someone might sound like a simplistic solution but it really is one of the best possible things you/they can do.
Though it can be hard to build up the courage, telling someone you trust how you’re feeling can help in loads of ways:
Sorting through your feelings
Talking out loud about what’s going on in your head and explaining it to someone else, even if you think it doesn’t make sense, helps you to clarify the things that are worrying you. Saying them out loud, often makes them less scary, and at least by having to sort through your feelings you know a bit more about you’re dealing with. Keeping things inside only lets them build up and get confusing.
Putting things in perspective
If you have been keeping things to yourself a situation can seem way more overwhelming than it actually is. The person you tell might help you see the situation in a new or different perspective. Someone outside the situation will be able to be more objective about what ‘s going on and might have solutions that you hadn’t thought of.
Releasing tension
You mightn’t even realise it, but carry a worried head on your shoulders every day, full of pent-up emotions, creates a lot of physical tension too. You’d be amazed at what a release it can be to get things off your chest – your muscles can relax a bit, and you can literally feel like a weight has been lifted. And feeling good physically makes you feel better mentally. It’s all connected, see?
Deciding who to talk to
Deciding who you want to talk to is an important first step. You need to trust them, and to feel comfortable opening up to them. The possibilities include close friends (who might relate to what you’re going through) family members (who can sometimes give you great support), teachers or youth workers (who are often good listeners and trained to deal with loads of issues), or going to talk to a counsellor who’s outside the situation (sometimes the best plan).
Talking to someone outside the situation
One of the advantage of talking to someone like a counsellor who’s ‘outside the situation’ is that they don’t know your friends or your family and don’t have opinions about how you should be living your life. This means it can be easier to open up and tell them things you might not tell other people, and you don’t have to worry about them being judgemental.
What you say to them won’t leave the room, except for very particular situations where they fear for your safety or are legally obliged – check out confidentiality for more information on this. They also have experience dealing with loads of different problems, and are pretty unshockable.
If you have a particular concerns, there are also counsellors who specialise in particular issues. Some of these speciality areas include:
- mental health issues
- addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling)
- sex and sexuality
- family issues
- eating disorders
- pregnancy
- family issues
- money and housing worries
- school and careers
- abuse
Counselling Directory gives you an overview of the counselling process and of the different types of counselling available, and check out the helpful sites below for more information on specific issues and services.
Hi Edward,
It sounds like you are going through a bit of a tough time. Finding someone to talk to about it will really help.
If you’re looking for a little extra support check out ReachOut.com in the US. They are based in California (like you) and have lots of information about how to get through tough times as well as forums where you can chat to other young people about getting through tough times.
Keep reaching out
Roisin
My name is Edward and im a 24 year old Hispanic male. Im 5'6 and weight 150. I live in Los Angeles. I was engaged but but she cheated on me. I need someone to text and who can help me continue with life. Im not looking for a relationship just a friend.
Hi Reus,
I really am sorry to hear about everything you are going through. Feeling like you’d rather leave this earth must be really hard but you won’t feel like this forever. It may not feel like it now but you can get through this!
It’s really good that you recongnise that you are feeling so down. You have done the right thing by coming on here and asking for help but you do need to continue to reach out.
If you are having thoughts of taking your own life it’s important that you keep yourself safe and tell someone about how you are feeling. A trusted friend or family member can be a good place to start. You don’t have to go through this alone. You are right in that there are people that care about you and they would want to help you. So it’s important to let people know what is going on for you. Sometimes it can be hard to tell someone that we are struggling but it is the best thing that we can do. Everyone needs a little extra support from time to time.
If you are struggling so much that you are having thoughts of ending your life then it’s a good idea to talk to a professional like a councellor psychologist or psychiatrist. A professional will be able to help you work out why you are struggling so much and help you come up with strategies to get through.
Your GP should be able to refer you to someone who in your local area that can help you or you can find a professional on the counseling directory or contact pieta house.
Getting though this may be hard but it will be worth it and fining the right person to talk to will make all the difference.
Keep reaching out
Roisin
Im struggling mentally to stay happy! Id rather leave this earth now but all I think of is the people ill leave behind.the people that love me