Benefits of talking to someone

therapy by Nikki Paulie If you or someone you know is going through a tough time, talking to someone might sound like a simplistic solution but it really is one of the best possible things you/they can do.

Though it can be hard to build up the courage, telling someone you trust how you’re feeling can help in loads of ways:

Sorting through your feelings

Talking out loud about what’s going on in your head and explaining it to someone else, even if you think it doesn’t make sense, helps you to clarify the things that are worrying you. Saying them out loud, often makes them less scary, and at least by having to sort through your feelings you know a bit more about you’re dealing with. Keeping things inside only lets them build up and get confusing.

Putting things in perspective

If you have been keeping things to yourself a situation can seem way more overwhelming than it actually is. The person you tell might help you see the situation in a new or different perspective. Someone outside the situation will be able to be more objective about what ‘s going on and might have solutions that you hadn’t thought of.

Releasing tension

You mightn’t even realise it, but carry a worried head on your shoulders every day, full of pent-up emotions, creates a lot of physical tension too. You’d be amazed at what a release it can be to get things off your chest – your muscles can relax a bit, and you can literally feel like a weight has been lifted. And feeling good physically makes you feel better mentally. It’s all connected, see?

Deciding who to talk to

Deciding who you want to talk to is an important first step. You need to trust them, and to feel comfortable opening up to them. The possibilities include close friends (who might relate to what you’re going through) family members (who can sometimes give you great support), teachers or youth workers (who are often good listeners and trained to deal with loads of issues), or going to talk to a counsellor who’s outside the situation (sometimes the best plan).

Talking to someone outside the situation

One of the advantage of talking to someone like a counsellor who’s ‘outside the situation’ is that they don’t know your friends or your family and don’t have opinions about how you should be living your life. This means it can be easier to open up and tell them things you might not tell other people, and you don’t have to worry about them being judgemental.

What you say to them won’t leave the room, except for very particular situations where they fear for your safety or are legally obliged – check out confidentiality for more information on this. They also have experience dealing with loads of different problems, and are pretty unshockable.

If you have a particular concerns, there are also counsellors who specialise in particular issues. Some of these speciality areas include:

  • mental health issues
  • addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling)
  • sex and sexuality
  • family issues
  • eating disorders
  • pregnancy
  • family issues
  • money and housing worries
  • school and careers
  • abuse.

Counselling Directory gives you an overview of the counselling process and of the different types of counselling available, and check out the helpful sites below for more information on specific issues and services.

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  1. ReachOut.com says:

    Hi Chemeka,

    It sounds like you’re in a tough situation right now and it sounds quite stressful.

    We wonder as a first step do you have a trusted friend or family member you could talk to and ask to help you out during this time? You might be able to stay with them for a while. There’s a lot going on for you right now and we think it would help to have the support of a friend or family member at this time if possible.

    If getting help from a friend or family member is not possible, it might help to call a helpline. We’re based in Ireland and from your IP address, it looks like you are in the United States, is this right? The helplines we list below are in the United States, but if that's not where you are, you might let us know so we can direct you to more appropriate supports. We would suggest calling the Office on Women’s Health helpline on 800 994 9662. The helpline is open Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., EST. They should be able to advise you on supports available to you.

    We would also advise going to see your local doctor. Your doctor can do a health check-up for you and your baby and should be able to recommend local support services that can help. We're sure you already know this, but it's not a good idea to use coke while you're pregnant as there's a chance it can harm your baby.

    If you want help to stop using coke, there are lots of supports available. It's tough but it is possible. Have a look at Drugabuse.com/library/drug-abuse-hotlines/ for more information.

    There’s a lot going on for you right now and it’s not surprising you feel like you’re going crazy, but with support from a trusted friend or family member if possible and/or from your local doctor, you can get through this.

    Take care,
    Fenella

  2. Chemeka Jones says:

    Im pregant using coke an have been put out of my apartment going crazy

  3. ReachOut.com says:

    Hi Weronika,

    Thanks for getting in touch. It’s not easy when people close to us push us away and it’s tough when we’re concerned about someone.

    We would encourage your boyfriend to talk to his local doctor about how he is feeling. His local doctor can give information and advice and should be able to recommend someone like a counsellor for him to talk to. It is free to see a HSE counsellor that your doctor refers you to. If your boyfriend doesn’t have a local doctor already, he can find one through www.icgp.ie.

    If he would like to find a counsellor himself, he can have a look at www.counsellingdirectory.ie. There are options like sliding scales, so it doesn’t always cost huge amounts of money to see a counsellor. You can discuss payments before the first appointment. It sounds like it would be useful for your boyfriend to speak with a counsellor.

    At ReachOut.com, we generally don’t call people, especially if they haven’t requested it for themselves. However, if you think it is something he would agree to, we can arrange for our clinical advisor, Helen, to give him a call. It would be good if you could reply and let us know that he agrees to this phone call.

    You might show him this website and encourage him to have a look around himself. It can take time to realise that something’s not right and stories that we need help and support. Reading information and from people who may be in similar situations can help to acknowledge a problem and encourage them to ask for help.

    We can’t force anyone to seek help, but you can let your boyfriend know that you are there for him if he ever needs to talk and support him in seeking help when he is ready.

    It’s a tough situation to be in for you and we hope that you have someone to talk to as well. Remember to look after yourself too.

    Do let us know if your boyfriend agrees to us giving him a call and we can try to arrange it.

    Take care,
    Fenella

  4. Weronika says:

    My boyfriend is really closed I think he have depression he sleeps most of theTime be never eats im worried about him I would liketohelp. Him but he is pushing me away. he cant afford to pay to go for therapy or something so . Though this could be a good place he could talk ans get help. I'm really worried about him.

    [edited by moderators to remove identifying information]

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