It’s only natural to want to support our loved ones but it’s also important to look after ourselves. After all, if we don’t make sure we’re OK then we won’t be able to support others.

Alcohol problems

Recently a young woman shared her story with us of the realisation of her brother’s alcoholism. She explains how dealing with her brother’s problems on top of her own feelings and the stress of exams led to her depression and of how she got help.

Helpful links

If you’re worried about someone’s drug or alcohol use or how to support them or would like more information on depression then check out these articles. There’s loads of great tips for dealing with stress, managing exam stress and information about how to find support.

We’re always encouraging people going through a tough time to talk to someone outside the situation. It can sound like a simplistic solution to your troubles but can help you sort out what’s in your head, put things in perspective and it releases a bit of tension.

But when you are going through a stressful or upsetting time, it can be hard to know who to turn to.

Friends and family

Some people find it easier to open up to some one they know. Friends and family can be great for listening and can also support you by helping you access services in your area. Read support from friends and family.

Your doctor

GPs are trained to deal with a wide range of issues and can give you advice and refer you on to other services that you may feel you need. This video explains everything you need to know about going to see your GP.

Counselling

Counsellors are great to talk to and can help you sort out your feelings and help you come up with solutions to deal with stuff you are going through. Your doctor can tell you about counsellors in your area or look up Counselling Directory for details of a service near you.

All counsellors are different and can use different styles of therapies. It may take a while to find a counsellor you feel comfortable with and a therapy that suits you, but it’s worth it! Read about the different types of therapies and if you decide to go that route what to expect on your first counsellor visit.

School or college counsellor

These services are usually free. You can talk to them about school or things that are going on at home. Each school has a different policy on how to make an appointment with the school counsellor. You can ask a trusted teacher, check your school or college website or contact the students union to find out your schools policy.

For  more information on services that can help you check out the services explained section of our site.

A UNICEF report launched recently highlights that half of all teenagers who participated in their online survey in Ireland have experienced depression while one in four have felt suicidal.

Getting help

It’s upsetting to hear that so many Irish teenagers have felt this low, but what’s more worrying is according to this report only 18% are receiving help of any kind for their mental health problems. Most of this help came from friends and family, with very few accessing mental health services. Support from friends and family is very important, but may not always be enough to get through your tough time.

How to access help

While there can be a degree of uncertainty about how to access mental health professionals, it’s important to remember there are always people and services that can support you through a tough time. It’s just a matter of finding those services – that’s where ReachOut.com comes in. There is information on this site to explain and direct you to services that can help you through.

Steps to take

There’s no need to suffer unnecessarily. There are many ways to improve our well-being and deal with mental health problems. If you are concerned about a mental health problem talk to a trusted friend or family member about it. 
Then the next step you could take is to see your GP. GPs are like gatekeepers; you have to see them first before you can see a specialist.

Costs

Specialist services are free with the HSE, but you might have to wait a while for an appointment. 
You also have the option to see a counsellor privately, which will be quicker, but you will have to pay (although some offer payment based on what you can afford, so do ask). See www.counsellingdirectory.ie for details of counsellors in your local area.

If ever you or a friend needs immediate help, call 999 or go straight to A&E.

Have a look through the getting help section for different types of treatment and services available to help you get through a tough time.

Listening to the inspirational hurler Donal Óg Cusack on Friday I was reminded that the people around us, our friends and family, are all that really matter in life. At a seminar to mark World Mental Health Day, Donal Óg talked about the value of friendship and the importance of the person standing next to you. Over 2,000 years ago, the Greek Spartan warriors would always go into battle with a spear in their right hand and a shield in their left hand – they all held their shields in their left hand to protect the man standing next to them. In Ireland, in the year 2010, the person standing next to you is as important as ever.

On World Mental Health Day, 10 October 2010, it’s important to remind ourselves of a few facts about mental health, mental illness and the support that’s out there. We know from Ron Kessler’s research in the U.S. that most mental health problems begin during teenage years or in our early 20s. So it’s during that sometimes turbulent time of transition into adulthood that we most need support. In Ireland, as in most countries that consider themselves ‘developed’, mental health services are split between child & adolescent services and adult services. This means that slap bang in the middle of the period when we’re most vulnerable, if we have mental health needs that only a mental health professional can meet, the digits on our birth certificate will decide whether we’re seen by a struggling, under resourced child & adolescent service or an inappropriate adult service. Put simply, as our friend Tony Bates from Headstrong put it recently, the system is weakest when the need is greatest.

Our mental health services are poor. Despite the fact that at least one in four of us will experience a serious mental health problem during our life and that suicide is the biggest killer of our young men, the mental health budget accounts for only 5.3% of the total health budget – and it may fall even lower after the next budget. Where does that leave us? We started some focus groups recently around the country and one of the things we ask about is formal and informal support, “where would you go for support with a mental health problem?” When it comes to formal support we don’t seem to have a clue. Apart from Samaritans, and school or college counsellors (which is great if we’re lucky enough to be in school or college and even then it depends on where you are) the people we’ve spoken to don’t seem to know where to go.

There are places to go. GPs will help you get through a tough time. There are good quality, low cost counselling services available out there (see http://counsellingdirectory.ie). But, most of our mental health problems, most of the tough times we go through, can be made easier by talking to a friend or a family member. This brings us back to the Spartan warriors. If you’re going through a tough time, talk to the people who are nearest to you. If you’re not going through a tough time, look out for the person standing next to you.

For more info on how to look out for people close to you, see the section on help a friend.