Moving away to attend college

Making the choice to go away to study

There are many reasons why you might choose to move away from home to study, and making this decision can be difficult. There may be pressure from your parents, teachers, or friends to make a decision one way or the other. It is important that you make a choice that is right for you. Some of the things you can do to help you decide include:

• writing a list of all the advantages and disadvantages of going away to study
• talking through your reasons with your family and friends
• taking time out to prevent feeling rushed.

Remember that the decision to move away to study is reversible and there are options other than university.

Leaving home

It is normal to have mixed feelings about leaving home. It can be exciting to make new friends, have new experiences, be more independent, and become more confident within yourself. You may also be feeling scared, homesick or lonely. It is not unusual to feel nervous about leaving your familiar surroundings. Becoming involved in activities on campus can help you to make friends and settle in. You can also read the fact sheet Leaving home for more information.

Living at college

Many people who choose to move away to study at college decide to live on campus. While it can be very exciting, it can also be stressful. Some things that may make it stressful include:

• being in an unfamiliar environment
• feeling sad that you are not able to hang out with your old friends
• being worried that you won't make new friends
• feeling nervous or worried about your workload at college
• being tired from all the energy involved with moving or participating in orientation activities
• pressure to drink alcohol - see the fact sheet on Alcohol for more information
• feeling harassed by other students - if this is happening you may want to look at the factsheet Bullying - what to do if you are being bullied for some advice.

Making life easier at a college

It may help to remember that you are not alone, and it is likely that other people who have just moved in have similar feelings to you. You may find it helpful to talk to other people about how they are feeling, or speak to some older students about their experiences of moving away from home to study. You may also find some of the following tips useful.

Give it time - big changes often take time to adjust to. Moving away from home and starting at college is a big move. It is important to allow yourself time to get used to the change. Try to take one day at a time. It is likely that life will start to get easier as you become more familiar with the routine of life away from home and start to make new friends.

Stay in contact with old friends - while you are making new friends it may help to stay in touch with your old friends. You may like to chat to some of your old friends about how you are feeling about starting at college. They may be having similar concerns. Although you are not able to see them face-to-face, it may still be possible to keep in touch via email, Instant Messaging (IM), phone or mail. Keep in mind that friends at home may be a bit slack in getting back to you. Try not to take this personally. It may be because they are still doing similar things and are in their comfort zone so are not as aware of how important their contact with you is. It may help to let them know how much you enjoy hearing from them. You can also invite them to see you.

Have something to look forward to - sometimes it is helpful to plan ahead so that you have something to look forward to. You may want to plan to catch up with friends during the holidays or plan to do something special if your parents are coming to visit you. Another idea would be to spend the weekend exploring your new city or town. Buying a guidebook of the area is a great way to get to know your new environment.

Get involved - a good way to make new friends is to become involved in activities that interest you. This way you are meeting people whom you have things in common with. You may want to get involved in:

• sport
• music
• debating
• community service.

Many colleges organise activities such as sport, parties, or formal dinners. These activities are often a great way to meet new people and have fun at the same time.

Try to participate in orientation and freshers' week activities - many colleges organise Freshers' Week activities to introduce new students to college life and they are planned to give you an opportunity to meet new people. Often times Freshers' Week activities are organised by older students from the college, which gives you a chance to learn from their experiences of moving away from home, and ask them any questions you may have. Check out the factsheet Getting Through Orientation and Freshers' Week for more information.

Create your own space - making your space your own can help you to bring a bit of home to campus life. Posters, your favourite duvet cover, books, posters, CDs and photos may help to make your space more like home.

Express yourself - being able to express how you are feeling may help to release some of the tension you may be carrying around with you. There are a number of ways that you are able to express yourself safely. See the Express yourself fact sheet for some ideas.

Talk to someone - it may be helpful to talk to someone about how you are feeling. This may be a friend or family member. Sometimes talking to someone who is not so close to the situation may be helpful. This may be someone like a counsellor at college or older students. You can also call Samaritans on 1850 609090.